Satan Dies on Tax Day?

The Jamaican Police have done something that Judeo-Islamo-Christendom had failed to do for all of their previous known History: kill the Prince of Darkness. The Story was reported on April 15th, 2011, at 12:30 PM, in Jamaica, West Indies.

Apparently Satan had been in someone's Home along Bog Walk Gorge, when Police surprised He and His Accomplice. A Gunfight ensued, and Satan and His Accomplice were killed. An AK-47, a 9mm Handgun, and a large amount of Ammunition were seized.

Original Satan's Death Story

The Story made no reference at all to reaction from Jews, Christians and Muslims around the World. Religious Experts suggest, however, that Satan's Death may solve a great number of Problems for all three Religions, since Satan IS known to be the Ruler of Hell. It is now possible that Souls trapped there may have some hope of being released from their Eternal Misery.

This Reporter has learned, from Sources wishing to remain anonymous, that Envoys from the United States, the European Union, and oddly enough, the Chinese, have been dispatched to Hell to negotiate with the Interim Managing Council of Demons. The World Powers apparently want to offer their input to the Council regarding the Selection of a New Leader for Hell--as well as a potential "Rewrite" of Scriptural Law governing the Territories attributed to Hell, and the Transrealm Treaties with Earth and Heaven that may now need to be renegotiated. Officials from Heaven were contacted, but they offered no Official Response at this time.