About Sex and Money

In my various travels across this Plane of American Existence, I have found a couple of Subjects garner really interesting reactions when discussed:

• Sex
• Money

It's not so much that People actually avoid either subject; most People will readily talk about either subject with little prompting. In fact, when it comes to Money, you normally can't get People to shut the fuck up about it. One agonizingly long snippet about earnings, losses, or investments invariably follows another. [Much like my Posts] With Sex, however, it is somewhat different.

Man arrested for sex 'chats' from office

In the United States, unlike the rest of the World, which is MOSTLY more open and civilized about Sex [some of the Muslims Nations excepted--where apparently some Men feel that "Stoning A Woman To Death" is an appropriate way to control their own IMPURE YUCKY DISGUSTING UNCLEAN NASTY BEASTLY GROTESQUE FILTHY HORRID RAUNCHY GRUBBY VULGAR ICKY REPUGNANT SICKENING NAUSEATING FOUL UNHOLY HORNY SEXUAL URGES], most People seem to be more comfortable with Sexual Innuendo than in dealing directly with the issue of Sexuality.

In fact, Americans only seem to be comfortable talking about Sex in one of two ways:

• As a Cartoonish Exaggeration of Reality:
• "I fucked 16 Women tonight, and I was just warming up" [A Guy with a Gold Chain, a Used Corvette, and 6 Maxed-Out Credit Cards normally will say something like This]
• "I'm actually a Virgin, if you don't count that one night that I got drunk and did the Church's Entire Men's Choir." [The Cute, but "Shy" Young Women from the Back of Church Blurts this out to her Girlfriends]
• As something so Vague as to be less useful than a Broken Condom:
• "My Wagon is always full!" [Usually some Overweight Romeo with Acne and Six Chins says This]
• "He was the most comfortable car I've ever ridden in!" [What the fuck does this even mean Lady?]

In fact, our aversion to taking directly about Sex has led us to do some pretty odd things. We place Sex everywhere BUT Center Stage in our own lives.

We would rather sexualize our Children, our Games, our Vacations, our Products, our Wars, our Cars, and JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE, rather than just say to someone we are attracted to, "Would you like to fuck?"

But why? You are asking why? You NEED TO KNOW why? [Goddamit! I get it already!] Because we have been led to believe that Sex is EVIL! Here is an interesting Video [Made by someone with lots of Free Time] that illustrates this point very well:

Here's a more Serious Video about Sex, [In the Case MASTURBATION]:

And here is some good Advice on how to avoid getting Caught Up in "Sexual Sin":

And at the end of the day, what has all this Innuendo and Admonition about avoiding Sex accomplished? Here is a very interesting Essay written by someone in a Forum in a "Lunatic Fringe" type Website called Godlike Productions:

Sexual Repression Causes Many World Problems

While the Post is made on a goofy Website normally Trolled by People waiting for Turnip-Headed "Grey" Aliens, and "Signs of the Apocalypse" in the morning Bowl of Cheerios [Sponsorship Please!], the Essay here does actually offer some valid THEORIES, though I will not run through them here. Suffice it to say that, if you are unwilling to fuck, you may end up dying in the Desert in some War, or Praying to a Statue of a Giant Rat-God, and wearing an Ugly Pink Turtleneck Jumpsuit.

My own Personal Ideas about Sexuality are quite simple and straightforward [my Mind cannot deal with Sexual Complexity - it gives me Itchy Balls]. They are as follows:

1. I Love Sex. I enjoy engaging in Sexual Activity of a Consensual Nature with Partners that are free of Disease, Violent Tendencies, or Interested Parties with Violent Tendencies.
2. I Really Really Really Really Really Love Sex. I Love Sex for all the Reasons listed in Idea #1, and because repeating how much I Love it may increase the chances of finding Partners who meet the Criteria Listed in #1, that are willing to engage in immediate Sex with Me.
3. Sex Is A Natural Instinct And/Or Urge. Aside from People who have interests in engaging in Sex with Children, Animals, Non-Consenting Partners, or Dangerous Devices, Sex is something that everyone should feel comfortable desiring. This does not mean that I disbelieve in the idea of Sexual Addiction [Do I have that?], or that I condone unprotected Sexual Contact that is Dangerous or otherwise adverse to one's Health. If you are hearing Voices from a Source that no one else sees or hears, don't seek Sex, seek Psychiatric Assistance.
4. Religious Dogma About Sex Is Really Hard To Accept. While I universally support the Freedom of Religion, and the Rights of People to hold as Sacred their own System of Beliefs, I really don't like having them applied to ME when I have not asked for them! [In other words, STEP THE FUCK BACK WITH THAT RELIGIOUS STUFF if you are condemning me for my Sexual Habits! Unless I happen to be Boning your Daughter, Wife, Sister, Best Friend, or whatever, leave me alone and don't preach your Beliefs to Me! It really fucks with my ability to fuck!].
5. If You Are A Sexually Repressed Woman, You Should Contact Me. The Key Word here is "Woman." For me, that is someone over the Age of 18, and available to "Discuss" your Sexual Repression "At Length." If you have Jealous, Well-Armed People in your Life, then I suggest that you contact Glenn Beck about this issue, and make certain to tell the Jealous Party that you are doing so.

Next Question: Where the Hell does Money fit in here? Well, quite frankly, it doesn't. I just mentioned the Word "Money" to attract Impotent Nit-Wits that might not otherwise read a Post totally about Sex and Sexuality. If you want to know about Money, watch CNBC, read Forbes, the Wall Street Journal, or I don't know . . . maybe Fuck Off. I value Sex a lot more than Money, so I have no idea why you bother getting up each Morning.

For the last Audio-Visual illustration, I present a Video of a Healthy Mind who understands what is Important in Life, and who could literally teach us all a thing or twelve about what is of Value:

Now, for those Women who have read my own Personal Ideas about Sexuality, please take note of Idea 5. It is important that, if you take nothing else away from this Post, that you remember that Idea as you move forward in Life [Yes, it is a cheap ploy to get Sexually Needy Women to contact Me!]. So, my last suggestion here is that you go out and HAVE SAFE AND CONSENSUAL SEX WITH SOMEONE THAT IS BOTH OVER 18 YEARS OF AGE AND FREE OF DISEASE AND DANGEROUS ASSOCIATIONS AND EXTRAS SKULLS. [That last part about "Extra Skulls" should probably not come up for most People]. TTFN!