CHIMPZILLA and My Absence for MONTHS!!!

Sorry I have been gone. You noticed that, right? I haven't posted ANYTHING for Months! [Were you out camping with Kim Kardashian or smoking Pot again?] Well, I have been BUSY creating something REALLY REALLY GOOD! I am going to post the little ridiculous BLURB that I have been annoying people with on Facebook!

I believe the only way to make sustainable change is to do it one person, one community at a time. I did the Nonprofit thing for a while, and found that begging for Money from Foundations is a huge waste of time. I actually had Governments and Foundations offering me Money NOT TO DO ANYTHING. So, I decided to do a For-Profit Hybrid. We are starting a For-Profit Company to exist for the Good of the Community, the Disadvantaged and Marginalized, and the Environment. It is a Democratically-Structured Entity, focused employing the Disadvantaged and Marginalized, and providing Socially, Environmentally, and Labor Responsible Products and Services. We are focused on Small, Green and Socially Responsible Vendors and Professionals. We are also going to produce an Online Magazine, and a site which will safely allow People to Barter their Products and Services - leaving the disgusting Banks and Corporations out in the Cold. The Company is humorously named "Chimpzilla." And yes, it does have meaning to me. It will be Headquartered in the Las Cruces New Mexico Area, where unemployment among Native Americans and Immigrants is very high. However, part of the goal is to hire as many people as possible. AND, Senior Managers will be required to accept, as part of their Employment Agreement, Salaries that are based on a reasonable multiple of what the lowest paid Employee at the Company earns. Employees will be able to vote for bonuses for them, but only if the Employees believe that they have done a good job for them and the company. We are looking to have the Unions directly monitor this process to avoid problems. We are also looking to have Unions advocate for the Company as a whole, since we are using a Democratic Structure, where they get to vote on much of what the Company does. It is a unique venture. I am hoping to gather most of the Start-Up Capital directly from Individuals. We will be selling T-Shirts and other Fundraisers soon, and even though we are not a Nonprofit, we are hoping that People will consider giving small donations to help us get this going. The hope is that we can, at some point, turn back on the Large Corporations, and teach them how to be Profitable WITHOUT exploiting People or the Planet to it. So yes, we will be offering Consulting Services as well! We hope people will understand that, while we wish to pay excellent Salaries and provide excellent Benefits, we are not looking to become Rich and RAID this for Money. We are willing to put that in CONTRACTS, that's how serious we are! We believe that this is the natural next step from the OWS ideas. WE are redefining Business in the United States for the years to come! We are looking for many types of help!

THIS THANG gives you the BASICS of what this new Business, CHIMPZILLA is! There will be more to come in the future, along with more annoying and boring posts by ME! WHAT WE NEED IN THE MEANTIME IS START-UP CAPITAL!!! WE CANNOT MAKE THIS ALTERNATIVE TO THE CORPORATIONS WORK WITHOUT THAT CAPITAL! WE ARE ONLY ASKING FOR A TINY-ASS DONATION OF BETWEEN $1-5!!! SERIOUSLY!!! WE WANT TO BE A COMPANY FOR THE PEOPLE!!! OUR PRIMARY AND ONLY PURPOSE IS TO SOLVE THE PROBLEMS THAT GREED HAS CREATED!!! WE ARE WILLING TO ACCEPT SALARY CAPS, AND FOCUS ON CHANGING THE CORPORATE WORLD BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT WE HAVE VOWED TO DO WITH OUR [HEROIC] LIVES!!! WE NEED HELP DESPERATELY THOUGH! THIS IS NOT A TAX-DEDUCTIBLE THING, BUT WE ARE ONLY ASKING THAT YOU GIVE UP THAT FATTENING MOCHA LATTE OR DANISH TO HELP US OUT!!! WE ARE THE DREAM THAT THE OWS PEOPLE HAVE HAD [THEY DON'T KNOW THAT YET, BUT THEY SOON WILL!] WE ARE NOT RICH PEOPLE! IN FACT, SOME OF THE PEOPLE INVOLVED ARE LITERALLY HOMELESS! WE JUST NEED A LOT OF PEOPLE TO GIVE A LITTLE BIT EACH TO GET THIS THING MOVING!!! DIG DEEP INTO YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS [AND LUSTS] AND SEND US A LITTLE SOMETHING! GIVE UP A BIG MAC FOR A DAY AND HELP US CREATE JOBS FOR THOSE MOST IN NEED!!! THIS IS FOR REAL PEOPLE!!! [IF YOU WANT MORE DETAILS, POST A COMMENT WITH A WAY TO CONTACT YOU!!! THERE IS A BUDGET, BUSINESS PLAN, AND FACTS AND FIGURES TO GO ALONG WITH THIS PROJECT!!! WE ARE THE ALTERNATIVE TO DOOM AND DESTRUCTION!!! WALL STREET BANKERS WILL BREAK INTO YOUR HOMES AND EAT YOUR FLESH IF YOU DON'T HELP US STOP THEM!!! JUST DO IT!!! [SORRY NIKE, BUT THOSE ARE JUST WORDS!!!] WE LOVE YOU!!! [ESPECIALLY IF YOU HELP US OUT!] MORE DETAILS TO COME WITH THE NEXT POST!!! ARRRGGGGGHHHH! [JUST ADDED THAT FOR EFFECT] DONATE!!!! THE PAYPAL LINK IS BELOW AND TO THE RIGHT!!! 

More Insanity to Come Today . . .

I realize that I, Jeffrey the Zen Chimp, have been remiss in making frequent Postings! [Do you really care? If so, you should help me out! Here is my Amazon.com "Wishlist"! (http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1WJGBFIQEADAG) Buy me something!] You could always DONATE [To the Right and Down], and relieve me of having to actually work so hard elsewhere! I do this all for YOU! [I mean this as a Personal Messages to each and every one of you, even if you are not mentioned by Name!].

Because I am still WORKING on other things [Money Deriving Things] to survive, and I will be posting later on this evening, here is a Video of some Music that you have never heard before:

This is a little Ditty by a Band called "The Fall," from an Album released way back in the 1970s [Or was it the early 1980s?] called "Live At The Witch Trials." For those of you [which likely means all of you] who have never heard of this Band, I suggest that you look them up and listen to them a bunch. Their Music is somewhat angry, and very outside anything that might be performed by Britney Spears or Lady Gaga [*double-gag*].

Tune back into this Blog at least once per hour [check my Wishlist each time] and make certain that you read everything I Post! [It is the only way to avoid the Dreaded Projectile Diarrhea which is caused by an overdose of "Right-Wing" in your System!] I have no idea what I will Post later, but I can guarantee that it will give you an Orgasm!

Complaints About The Quality Or Your Internet Service

For my part, I have been having ABSOLUTE CRAP INTERNET SERVICE FOR THE PAST FEW MONTHS. There have been frequent outages, and slower download speeds every time my ISP announced a "Free Speed Increase." [No, it's not ironic, it's annoying and irritating!].

So, I am asking everyone and everything that reads this horrid Blog of Mine, to send me your complaints, if you have them, about the Quality of your Internet Service. I am working on a Post [as a way to positively channel my irritation about the horrible service I receive - other than using a Sniper Rifle] about this issue, and I want INPUT FROM REAL PEOPLE. If you are an illusion, don't send anything.

Here is a link to a Site that will teach you how to Complain Properly:

Complaints Board

So, now that you know how to Complain Properly, please take notes about your Internet Problems, and send them to me - either as an Email, or as a Comment you can Post below this Post. Make certain to include the exclusive Details of your Problems with your Internet Service, and the Name of your Internet Service Provider (ISP). Also, let me know whether or not you consent to me using your Name [First Name Only], and the Name of your ISP. I want the ugliest [BUT TRUE] Horror Stories you have, so that I may include them in the upcoming Post.

Also, I am feeling a little better [Thanks for asking!], the H. pylori appears to be responding well to the Antibiotics that I am taking, and my normal state of Spiritual and Moral Illness should return shortly. Please remember to send those NUDE PHOTOS, MAKE A MONETARY DONATION, and Eat Well . . . than have a good B.M.

Blogger "Technical Issues" . . . Ramblings . . .

For the last few days, the Propellerheads at Blogger.com have been "doing maintenance" on the Blogger.com System. This meant that I could not vent my oddball "Urges" and "Inspirations" to this Blog. I use this Blog as method of expunging the Sickness from my Soul [I speak metaphorically, of course . . . I am Buddhist . . . we don't have the Concept of "Soul" in Buddhism . . . are you listening to me?] and passing it on to my Readers, where they will become sick instead of me.

In the meantime, it looks my problem with H. pylori has reemerged in my Stomach, causing me a WONDERFUL PAIN that was an Ulcer a number of years ago. [There is nothing more WONDERFUL than Pain . . . except maybe not having Pain . . . yeah, that's better]. Read about the Source of my Pain:

H. pylori Information on Centers for Disease Control (CDC) Website

As humorous as I find this to be [Ha ha haha haha ha ha ha ha hahaha ha ha ha! Ow!], I have been unable to do much, as stress and fatigue make the symptoms much worse. I read the CDC information just so I can laugh at the misery this causes me [Yes, that IS foolish!], and because I have not slept properly since the worst of the symptoms have returned. [Sleeping is overrated . . . no it isn't . . . am I RAMBLING yet?]

Also, I must protest the continuing worsening of Internet Speeds and Services since the Major Internet Service Providers [ISPs] got the "Green Light" from the FCC [Federally Sanctioned But Corporately Controlled Motherfucking Federal Communications Fucking Commission - Who cares if my expansion doesn't match the abbreviation?] to differentially charge for rates of download on the Internet. [Greedy Bastards!!! - Sorry]. Have you noticed that your Internet Service has sucked lately? Don't blame the Chinese Government or Satan! Blame the FCC! Blame SCOTUS! The ISPs can now charge whatever the fuck they want based on how fast you want your Internet to be. Isn't that nice? [The ISPs DO control the Internet Completely. They are "Communication Nazis," and you SHOULD FEAR THEM! - There, that should make them warm up to me! . . . or not].

Here is something about Blogger.com that has nothing to do with the ISPs at all, but it seemed funny to me:

The Video is a brief, but mild Rant about how a Larger Media Outlet has allegedly [now I can't be sued . . . HA!] cheated a Blogger by using her work without compensating her. What does that have to do with Slower Internet Speeds or Stolen Art? Not a damn thing. But, since I am not 100% currently, I am Rambling as a way to try and let out the Pathologies that I need to share with the World! More unrelated nonsense:

What I am trying to convey here is that I have been ill, and that Blogger.com was "Out of Service." I wanted to POST more to this Blog, but being ill prevented it. In other words, I was unable Post my insane Rantings to Blogger. So, as I was unable to pass along the TRUE FILTH that I have in my Heart to those of you who read this Blog. [Repeat in your own words here]

I recognize that this Post MAY BE a bit sub par, but I promise that I will have a great Post very shortly. Don't forget to send those Nude Pictures [you can if you like . . . especially Cote de Pablo . . . I kind of like the way she looks . . . this is odd . . . unless it works]. And, feel free to Donate something via the Paypal Link to the right, if you have actually been enjoying the Blog, since this horrible Internet Service I use does not pay for itself. Always remember to check the Blog once an Hour for "NEW DEVELOPMENTS," and see you on May 23rd, after the Rapture! ciao for now

Very Odd Video Filler

Since I was absolutely more busy Today than any Deity has ever been, I decided to Post this extremely odd Video featuring Les Claypool of Primus, and Cartoon Network's "Adult Swim" Shows:

If this Video does not convince you that the World is a Bizarre Place, then you are hopeless. Before you give up, however, take time to send Comments. On a totally unrelated note, I really loath "Reality Television Shows." Just thought I'd throw that in. Cheers!

About Sex and Money

In my various travels across this Plane of American Existence, I have found a couple of Subjects garner really interesting reactions when discussed:

• Sex
• Money

It's not so much that People actually avoid either subject; most People will readily talk about either subject with little prompting. In fact, when it comes to Money, you normally can't get People to shut the fuck up about it. One agonizingly long snippet about earnings, losses, or investments invariably follows another. [Much like my Posts] With Sex, however, it is somewhat different.

Man arrested for sex 'chats' from office

In the United States, unlike the rest of the World, which is MOSTLY more open and civilized about Sex [some of the Muslims Nations excepted--where apparently some Men feel that "Stoning A Woman To Death" is an appropriate way to control their own IMPURE YUCKY DISGUSTING UNCLEAN NASTY BEASTLY GROTESQUE FILTHY HORRID RAUNCHY GRUBBY VULGAR ICKY REPUGNANT SICKENING NAUSEATING FOUL UNHOLY HORNY SEXUAL URGES], most People seem to be more comfortable with Sexual Innuendo than in dealing directly with the issue of Sexuality.

In fact, Americans only seem to be comfortable talking about Sex in one of two ways:

• As a Cartoonish Exaggeration of Reality:
• "I fucked 16 Women tonight, and I was just warming up" [A Guy with a Gold Chain, a Used Corvette, and 6 Maxed-Out Credit Cards normally will say something like This]
• "I'm actually a Virgin, if you don't count that one night that I got drunk and did the Church's Entire Men's Choir." [The Cute, but "Shy" Young Women from the Back of Church Blurts this out to her Girlfriends]
• As something so Vague as to be less useful than a Broken Condom:
• "My Wagon is always full!" [Usually some Overweight Romeo with Acne and Six Chins says This]
• "He was the most comfortable car I've ever ridden in!" [What the fuck does this even mean Lady?]

In fact, our aversion to taking directly about Sex has led us to do some pretty odd things. We place Sex everywhere BUT Center Stage in our own lives.

We would rather sexualize our Children, our Games, our Vacations, our Products, our Wars, our Cars, and JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE, rather than just say to someone we are attracted to, "Would you like to fuck?"

But why? You are asking why? You NEED TO KNOW why? [Goddamit! I get it already!] Because we have been led to believe that Sex is EVIL! Here is an interesting Video [Made by someone with lots of Free Time] that illustrates this point very well:

Here's a more Serious Video about Sex, [In the Case MASTURBATION]:

And here is some good Advice on how to avoid getting Caught Up in "Sexual Sin":

And at the end of the day, what has all this Innuendo and Admonition about avoiding Sex accomplished? Here is a very interesting Essay written by someone in a Forum in a "Lunatic Fringe" type Website called Godlike Productions:

Sexual Repression Causes Many World Problems

While the Post is made on a goofy Website normally Trolled by People waiting for Turnip-Headed "Grey" Aliens, and "Signs of the Apocalypse" in the morning Bowl of Cheerios [Sponsorship Please!], the Essay here does actually offer some valid THEORIES, though I will not run through them here. Suffice it to say that, if you are unwilling to fuck, you may end up dying in the Desert in some War, or Praying to a Statue of a Giant Rat-God, and wearing an Ugly Pink Turtleneck Jumpsuit.

My own Personal Ideas about Sexuality are quite simple and straightforward [my Mind cannot deal with Sexual Complexity - it gives me Itchy Balls]. They are as follows:

1. I Love Sex. I enjoy engaging in Sexual Activity of a Consensual Nature with Partners that are free of Disease, Violent Tendencies, or Interested Parties with Violent Tendencies.
2. I Really Really Really Really Really Love Sex. I Love Sex for all the Reasons listed in Idea #1, and because repeating how much I Love it may increase the chances of finding Partners who meet the Criteria Listed in #1, that are willing to engage in immediate Sex with Me.
3. Sex Is A Natural Instinct And/Or Urge. Aside from People who have interests in engaging in Sex with Children, Animals, Non-Consenting Partners, or Dangerous Devices, Sex is something that everyone should feel comfortable desiring. This does not mean that I disbelieve in the idea of Sexual Addiction [Do I have that?], or that I condone unprotected Sexual Contact that is Dangerous or otherwise adverse to one's Health. If you are hearing Voices from a Source that no one else sees or hears, don't seek Sex, seek Psychiatric Assistance.
4. Religious Dogma About Sex Is Really Hard To Accept. While I universally support the Freedom of Religion, and the Rights of People to hold as Sacred their own System of Beliefs, I really don't like having them applied to ME when I have not asked for them! [In other words, STEP THE FUCK BACK WITH THAT RELIGIOUS STUFF if you are condemning me for my Sexual Habits! Unless I happen to be Boning your Daughter, Wife, Sister, Best Friend, or whatever, leave me alone and don't preach your Beliefs to Me! It really fucks with my ability to fuck!].
5. If You Are A Sexually Repressed Woman, You Should Contact Me. The Key Word here is "Woman." For me, that is someone over the Age of 18, and available to "Discuss" your Sexual Repression "At Length." If you have Jealous, Well-Armed People in your Life, then I suggest that you contact Glenn Beck about this issue, and make certain to tell the Jealous Party that you are doing so.

Next Question: Where the Hell does Money fit in here? Well, quite frankly, it doesn't. I just mentioned the Word "Money" to attract Impotent Nit-Wits that might not otherwise read a Post totally about Sex and Sexuality. If you want to know about Money, watch CNBC, read Forbes, the Wall Street Journal, or I don't know . . . maybe Fuck Off. I value Sex a lot more than Money, so I have no idea why you bother getting up each Morning.

For the last Audio-Visual illustration, I present a Video of a Healthy Mind who understands what is Important in Life, and who could literally teach us all a thing or twelve about what is of Value:

Now, for those Women who have read my own Personal Ideas about Sexuality, please take note of Idea 5. It is important that, if you take nothing else away from this Post, that you remember that Idea as you move forward in Life [Yes, it is a cheap ploy to get Sexually Needy Women to contact Me!]. So, my last suggestion here is that you go out and HAVE SAFE AND CONSENSUAL SEX WITH SOMEONE THAT IS BOTH OVER 18 YEARS OF AGE AND FREE OF DISEASE AND DANGEROUS ASSOCIATIONS AND EXTRAS SKULLS. [That last part about "Extra Skulls" should probably not come up for most People]. TTFN! 

Coming This Week . . . Yeah, For Reals . . .

I have been, foolishly, promising to Post an Essay about the supposed CORRUPTION in the Israeli Knesset. For the few People that actually care what I do with this Blog, it may be causing Convulsions and Diarrhea to note that no such Post has yet appeared. Well, aside from my apprehensions about alienating even MORE People than I already have, [some of them possibly working for Mossad, the Israeli Intelligence Service], I have actually been delayed in this Task by overflow from other Projects I am involved with. I [not so] humbly apologize for the delay to those of you who use my Posts as an excuse not to end your own Lives. [Goddamit! You may have already done it! Fuck!]

Well, for those of you who have endured, and waited long and hard [insert your own sexual context here], here is something of extreme Political Importance to ease your wait:

I sincerely hope this Political Exposé is enough to fulfill your need for Political Intrigue and Passion--while you wait for my "COMPLETELY SERIOUS POST" [sic] on the Israeli Knesset. I know that nothing could truly replace the hard-hitting REPORTING [I am currently laughing out loud] that I provide on subjects like this, but Ferreting Out such a Story takes TIME. Please, return to my Blog Once an Hour for the next Month so that you do not miss one single word about this Issue! [For those of you already upset with me, THIS POST could be the one that allows that Anger to turn into full blown Hatred!] Stay Hot and Cool.