Blogger "Technical Issues" . . . Ramblings . . .

For the last few days, the Propellerheads at Blogger.com have been "doing maintenance" on the Blogger.com System. This meant that I could not vent my oddball "Urges" and "Inspirations" to this Blog. I use this Blog as method of expunging the Sickness from my Soul [I speak metaphorically, of course . . . I am Buddhist . . . we don't have the Concept of "Soul" in Buddhism . . . are you listening to me?] and passing it on to my Readers, where they will become sick instead of me.

In the meantime, it looks my problem with H. pylori has reemerged in my Stomach, causing me a WONDERFUL PAIN that was an Ulcer a number of years ago. [There is nothing more WONDERFUL than Pain . . . except maybe not having Pain . . . yeah, that's better]. Read about the Source of my Pain:

H. pylori Information on Centers for Disease Control (CDC) Website

As humorous as I find this to be [Ha ha haha haha ha ha ha ha hahaha ha ha ha! Ow!], I have been unable to do much, as stress and fatigue make the symptoms much worse. I read the CDC information just so I can laugh at the misery this causes me [Yes, that IS foolish!], and because I have not slept properly since the worst of the symptoms have returned. [Sleeping is overrated . . . no it isn't . . . am I RAMBLING yet?]

Also, I must protest the continuing worsening of Internet Speeds and Services since the Major Internet Service Providers [ISPs] got the "Green Light" from the FCC [Federally Sanctioned But Corporately Controlled Motherfucking Federal Communications Fucking Commission - Who cares if my expansion doesn't match the abbreviation?] to differentially charge for rates of download on the Internet. [Greedy Bastards!!! - Sorry]. Have you noticed that your Internet Service has sucked lately? Don't blame the Chinese Government or Satan! Blame the FCC! Blame SCOTUS! The ISPs can now charge whatever the fuck they want based on how fast you want your Internet to be. Isn't that nice? [The ISPs DO control the Internet Completely. They are "Communication Nazis," and you SHOULD FEAR THEM! - There, that should make them warm up to me! . . . or not].

Here is something about Blogger.com that has nothing to do with the ISPs at all, but it seemed funny to me:

The Video is a brief, but mild Rant about how a Larger Media Outlet has allegedly [now I can't be sued . . . HA!] cheated a Blogger by using her work without compensating her. What does that have to do with Slower Internet Speeds or Stolen Art? Not a damn thing. But, since I am not 100% currently, I am Rambling as a way to try and let out the Pathologies that I need to share with the World! More unrelated nonsense:

What I am trying to convey here is that I have been ill, and that Blogger.com was "Out of Service." I wanted to POST more to this Blog, but being ill prevented it. In other words, I was unable Post my insane Rantings to Blogger. So, as I was unable to pass along the TRUE FILTH that I have in my Heart to those of you who read this Blog. [Repeat in your own words here]

I recognize that this Post MAY BE a bit sub par, but I promise that I will have a great Post very shortly. Don't forget to send those Nude Pictures [you can if you like . . . especially Cote de Pablo . . . I kind of like the way she looks . . . this is odd . . . unless it works]. And, feel free to Donate something via the Paypal Link to the right, if you have actually been enjoying the Blog, since this horrible Internet Service I use does not pay for itself. Always remember to check the Blog once an Hour for "NEW DEVELOPMENTS," and see you on May 23rd, after the Rapture! ciao for now

Very Odd Video Filler

Since I was absolutely more busy Today than any Deity has ever been, I decided to Post this extremely odd Video featuring Les Claypool of Primus, and Cartoon Network's "Adult Swim" Shows:

If this Video does not convince you that the World is a Bizarre Place, then you are hopeless. Before you give up, however, take time to send Comments. On a totally unrelated note, I really loath "Reality Television Shows." Just thought I'd throw that in. Cheers!

About Sex and Money

In my various travels across this Plane of American Existence, I have found a couple of Subjects garner really interesting reactions when discussed:

• Sex
• Money

It's not so much that People actually avoid either subject; most People will readily talk about either subject with little prompting. In fact, when it comes to Money, you normally can't get People to shut the fuck up about it. One agonizingly long snippet about earnings, losses, or investments invariably follows another. [Much like my Posts] With Sex, however, it is somewhat different.

Man arrested for sex 'chats' from office

In the United States, unlike the rest of the World, which is MOSTLY more open and civilized about Sex [some of the Muslims Nations excepted--where apparently some Men feel that "Stoning A Woman To Death" is an appropriate way to control their own IMPURE YUCKY DISGUSTING UNCLEAN NASTY BEASTLY GROTESQUE FILTHY HORRID RAUNCHY GRUBBY VULGAR ICKY REPUGNANT SICKENING NAUSEATING FOUL UNHOLY HORNY SEXUAL URGES], most People seem to be more comfortable with Sexual Innuendo than in dealing directly with the issue of Sexuality.

In fact, Americans only seem to be comfortable talking about Sex in one of two ways:

• As a Cartoonish Exaggeration of Reality:
• "I fucked 16 Women tonight, and I was just warming up" [A Guy with a Gold Chain, a Used Corvette, and 6 Maxed-Out Credit Cards normally will say something like This]
• "I'm actually a Virgin, if you don't count that one night that I got drunk and did the Church's Entire Men's Choir." [The Cute, but "Shy" Young Women from the Back of Church Blurts this out to her Girlfriends]
• As something so Vague as to be less useful than a Broken Condom:
• "My Wagon is always full!" [Usually some Overweight Romeo with Acne and Six Chins says This]
• "He was the most comfortable car I've ever ridden in!" [What the fuck does this even mean Lady?]

In fact, our aversion to taking directly about Sex has led us to do some pretty odd things. We place Sex everywhere BUT Center Stage in our own lives.

We would rather sexualize our Children, our Games, our Vacations, our Products, our Wars, our Cars, and JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE, rather than just say to someone we are attracted to, "Would you like to fuck?"

But why? You are asking why? You NEED TO KNOW why? [Goddamit! I get it already!] Because we have been led to believe that Sex is EVIL! Here is an interesting Video [Made by someone with lots of Free Time] that illustrates this point very well:

Here's a more Serious Video about Sex, [In the Case MASTURBATION]:

And here is some good Advice on how to avoid getting Caught Up in "Sexual Sin":

And at the end of the day, what has all this Innuendo and Admonition about avoiding Sex accomplished? Here is a very interesting Essay written by someone in a Forum in a "Lunatic Fringe" type Website called Godlike Productions:

Sexual Repression Causes Many World Problems

While the Post is made on a goofy Website normally Trolled by People waiting for Turnip-Headed "Grey" Aliens, and "Signs of the Apocalypse" in the morning Bowl of Cheerios [Sponsorship Please!], the Essay here does actually offer some valid THEORIES, though I will not run through them here. Suffice it to say that, if you are unwilling to fuck, you may end up dying in the Desert in some War, or Praying to a Statue of a Giant Rat-God, and wearing an Ugly Pink Turtleneck Jumpsuit.

My own Personal Ideas about Sexuality are quite simple and straightforward [my Mind cannot deal with Sexual Complexity - it gives me Itchy Balls]. They are as follows:

1. I Love Sex. I enjoy engaging in Sexual Activity of a Consensual Nature with Partners that are free of Disease, Violent Tendencies, or Interested Parties with Violent Tendencies.
2. I Really Really Really Really Really Love Sex. I Love Sex for all the Reasons listed in Idea #1, and because repeating how much I Love it may increase the chances of finding Partners who meet the Criteria Listed in #1, that are willing to engage in immediate Sex with Me.
3. Sex Is A Natural Instinct And/Or Urge. Aside from People who have interests in engaging in Sex with Children, Animals, Non-Consenting Partners, or Dangerous Devices, Sex is something that everyone should feel comfortable desiring. This does not mean that I disbelieve in the idea of Sexual Addiction [Do I have that?], or that I condone unprotected Sexual Contact that is Dangerous or otherwise adverse to one's Health. If you are hearing Voices from a Source that no one else sees or hears, don't seek Sex, seek Psychiatric Assistance.
4. Religious Dogma About Sex Is Really Hard To Accept. While I universally support the Freedom of Religion, and the Rights of People to hold as Sacred their own System of Beliefs, I really don't like having them applied to ME when I have not asked for them! [In other words, STEP THE FUCK BACK WITH THAT RELIGIOUS STUFF if you are condemning me for my Sexual Habits! Unless I happen to be Boning your Daughter, Wife, Sister, Best Friend, or whatever, leave me alone and don't preach your Beliefs to Me! It really fucks with my ability to fuck!].
5. If You Are A Sexually Repressed Woman, You Should Contact Me. The Key Word here is "Woman." For me, that is someone over the Age of 18, and available to "Discuss" your Sexual Repression "At Length." If you have Jealous, Well-Armed People in your Life, then I suggest that you contact Glenn Beck about this issue, and make certain to tell the Jealous Party that you are doing so.

Next Question: Where the Hell does Money fit in here? Well, quite frankly, it doesn't. I just mentioned the Word "Money" to attract Impotent Nit-Wits that might not otherwise read a Post totally about Sex and Sexuality. If you want to know about Money, watch CNBC, read Forbes, the Wall Street Journal, or I don't know . . . maybe Fuck Off. I value Sex a lot more than Money, so I have no idea why you bother getting up each Morning.

For the last Audio-Visual illustration, I present a Video of a Healthy Mind who understands what is Important in Life, and who could literally teach us all a thing or twelve about what is of Value:

Now, for those Women who have read my own Personal Ideas about Sexuality, please take note of Idea 5. It is important that, if you take nothing else away from this Post, that you remember that Idea as you move forward in Life [Yes, it is a cheap ploy to get Sexually Needy Women to contact Me!]. So, my last suggestion here is that you go out and HAVE SAFE AND CONSENSUAL SEX WITH SOMEONE THAT IS BOTH OVER 18 YEARS OF AGE AND FREE OF DISEASE AND DANGEROUS ASSOCIATIONS AND EXTRAS SKULLS. [That last part about "Extra Skulls" should probably not come up for most People]. TTFN! 

Coming This Week . . . Yeah, For Reals . . .

I have been, foolishly, promising to Post an Essay about the supposed CORRUPTION in the Israeli Knesset. For the few People that actually care what I do with this Blog, it may be causing Convulsions and Diarrhea to note that no such Post has yet appeared. Well, aside from my apprehensions about alienating even MORE People than I already have, [some of them possibly working for Mossad, the Israeli Intelligence Service], I have actually been delayed in this Task by overflow from other Projects I am involved with. I [not so] humbly apologize for the delay to those of you who use my Posts as an excuse not to end your own Lives. [Goddamit! You may have already done it! Fuck!]

Well, for those of you who have endured, and waited long and hard [insert your own sexual context here], here is something of extreme Political Importance to ease your wait:

I sincerely hope this Political Exposé is enough to fulfill your need for Political Intrigue and Passion--while you wait for my "COMPLETELY SERIOUS POST" [sic] on the Israeli Knesset. I know that nothing could truly replace the hard-hitting REPORTING [I am currently laughing out loud] that I provide on subjects like this, but Ferreting Out such a Story takes TIME. Please, return to my Blog Once an Hour for the next Month so that you do not miss one single word about this Issue! [For those of you already upset with me, THIS POST could be the one that allows that Anger to turn into full blown Hatred!] Stay Hot and Cool.

More More Musical Pandering

Here is a version of the Beatles Song "Norwegian Wood" that you probably would not hear all on your own:

YOU OWE ME!!! Just enjoy the Music, or . . . enjoy the Music!

Why the Gap in Posts?

First of all, STOP ASKING ME SUCH RUDE QUESTIONS! Second, things come up, and you have to do things like earn a living and eat and take care of your Family . . . and so on. I will still be doing an upcoming Post on the Corruption in the Knesset of Israel. I will also be doing a Post on the "Leave It To Beaver" Family Life of the bin Laden's of Saudi Arabia! They're more FUN than . . . their Dead Son, Osama. Lastly, there is nothing else to add here, but I started this whole Ordinal thing, so I had to do something.

IF you like laughing. vomiting, throwing crap, or doing other unspeakable things while reading my Blog Posts, please CONSIDER making a small Donation to maintaining it. The more People that donate, the less Real Work I have to do, which might leave me some time . . . other than when I should be sleeping . . . to create this vile crap for you to laugh . . . or do whatever you do, with my Posts. Even a single Dollar [Donate a lot though!] will help me afford the "Finer Things Of Life," like Food, Insurance, Gasoline [FUCK! IT'S EXPENSIVE!], Rent, Basic Clothing [I have all the Fashion Sense of a Troll], and other meaningless things that most people take for granted. I'm begging you! [I obviously have no self respect] Help me before I die of lack of sleep!

One last last thing: Please consider sending me your silly stuff to Post! Yeah, you could be as unknown and unpopular as I am! [Hey, I got quoted on CNN yesterday! . . . so I'm told by a few Friends!]. You could be just as widely known, yet poor, like I am! [I really am not Rich. I swear! I buy Generic Foods to save Money!] If you are interested, I would love to have People write regular Posts, and even do Real News! [Not the sarcastic and asinine "Humor" junk that I do, because my Mom didn't raise me right]. My Email Link is available to the Right, but DO NOT SEND ANY ATTACHMENTS. I will delete them immediately without even looking at the message. Email messages with Attachments generally have E-Herpes. I can't afford to get E-Herpes, or maybe E-Genital-Warts from your UNCLEAN and UNCHASTE Attachments.

One last last last thing. Donate something! I really like being able to take my crappy car to the Mechanic when it has "issues." I thank all of you who have said nice things to me about how my Blog has made you laugh, or given you information that you didn't have, or motivated you to become active on issues you care about, or ruined your life . . . these comments matter to me! So, take the time to make comments, and feel free to use expletives and text drawings. If you need to, you CAN SEND NUDE PICTURES OF YOURSELF. As long as you are not doing anything illegal [OVER 18 ONLY PLEASE!!!], or really really really gross. Please do not creep me out. I would prefer that you not send any Porn. Tasteful stuff only. And, let me know whether or not you want it posted [If I can - based on content]. If so, I may need to send a "Model Release" so that I do not get sued for Posting your odd Nude Photos. [Yes, some People DID ask if they could send Nude Photos!]. So, go forth and spread your words! [Or whatever].

Data Mining and Facebook - A Love Story

Facebook's Billionaire CEO Mark Zuckerberg has claimed, on numerous occasions, that Facebook is not primarily a "Data Mining" Enterprise. That claim, however deeply couched in Twenty-Something Triple-Chocolate-Spicy-Cream-Latte Uptalk it may be, is about as credible as the complaints of Glenn Beck over a possible George Soros Conspiracy to shut him down by corning the Market on Chalk. No matter how much Zuckerberg claims that "Privacy" is the Mantra of Ethics at Facebook, the Reality is [Wait for it!] . . . FACEBOOK IS NOT MAKING MONEY BY CONNECTING YOU WITH THAT FREAK FROM HIGH SCHOOL THAT USED TO DROOL ALL OVER YOUR SHIRT WHILE FOLLOWING YOU AROUND CAMPUS ALL DAY.

Facebook is paid by its Advertisers. It's Advertisers want access to targeted information that will sell their otherwise worthless and overpriced Products and Services. Zuckerberg claims that all the information in its vast Evil Empire Databases are collected "Anonymously." Woo Hoo! And how can this be? Well, they aren't too forthcoming in that area, because there is PROPRIETARY TECHNOLOGY INVOLVED. WTF??? What that actually means is that they don't want you to know how they supposedly take all your secret wants, desires, accomplishments, relationships, perversions, abnormalities, instances of diaper rash and diarrhea, and so on -- and compile them into anonymous data that will attract upstanding Companies like Monsanto [HERE THEY ARE AGAIN!] to place their warped business promotions [an opinion of someone who loathes that company] right next to your Post about the New Garden you just Planted! [It's just a coincidence that the Ad appears there!].

Soooooo, take a look at the Two Facebook Videos of Mark Zuckerberg speaking in his disjointed and annoying manner about Facebook, Privacy, and the Mission of the Company over time:

Perhaps it is just me, but when he refers to exchanges in the "Ecosystem," does anyone else get the impression that he is talking about the transfer of information from one Corporation's Database to another Corporation's Database via that vast Network called the INTERNET? [Well, who cares what impression you got? That's exactly what he's talking about!] What information could he be transferring and bartering with? CERTAINLY NOT THE INTIMATE AND TARGETED INFORMATION THAT FACEBOOK USERS SHARE WITH THEIR "FRIENDS," RIGHT? Oh my goodness, I love the Orwellian-Style Nerdspeak here! It gives me a real "Poke"!

Soooooo, if Facebook might [Facebook Lawyers, notice I introduced DOUBT here] be profiting from utilizing your information in some less than ethical manner, does that bother you at all? Does it harm you in some manner? Does it makes your skin crawl? [Does that actually apply here? Sure! Why the hell not!] Should you do something to stop it? Can you do something to stop it? [The answer to all those questions is the same: "ROTFLMAO"].

Well, so far, Facebook has protected itself via its complicated and nebulous and ever changing USER AGREEMENT and PRIVACY RULES. Do you understand them? Does Clarence Thomas understand them better than he understands Tax Law? [I couldn't resist!] Probably not and probably not. So, now that you are upset, what are you going to do? Will you disable your Facebook Account? . . . Get serious! Of course not! You would have nothing to do with that overprice piece of shit Smartphone you just bought if you quit Facebook! OH COME ON! YOU KNOW YOU WON'T STOP YOUR FACEBOOK ADDICTION! IT'S MORE ADDICTIVE THAN HEROIN! [Sort of . . . in a non-physical and unrealistic sort of way].

I have a way to do a minor protest! It will probably cause Facebook to disable my Account, but it could be Fun anyways! Just remember to come back to this Blog if you see my Account is gone after we do this . . . mischief! I will accept you back with open Arms into my other Profile! [You are all my Children! . . . of sorts].

Here's what we'll do: go to my Profile via my Facebook Link to the right of my Posts. If you are not already my Friend, send a Friend Request. Unless your name is Charles Manson or Dick Cheney, I will likely accept your Request. Once we are Friends, send me a Request to be recognized as a "Relative" of Mine. Call me a Brother, Aunt, Father, Dog, Sister, Mother, or whatever. It's not like I actually care. We are just attempting to distort the statistics being collected by Facebook on behalf of its Advertisers. What we want is for Facebook to start being up front about how they collect Data, and what is being done with it. Plus, they keep putting me on restriction.

Feel free to do the same thing with your own Profile. You can send me your Profile URL, and I will post it on my Blog. The idea is to get their attention, without actually doing anything nasty or violent. I hope you will help me here! I don't want to have to go door to door around the World! Tally Ho!