For my part, I have been having ABSOLUTE CRAP INTERNET SERVICE FOR THE PAST FEW MONTHS. There have been frequent outages, and slower download speeds every time my ISP announced a "Free Speed Increase." [No, it's not ironic, it's annoying and irritating!].
So, I am asking everyone and everything that reads this horrid Blog of Mine, to send me your complaints, if you have them, about the Quality of your Internet Service. I am working on a Post [as a way to positively channel my irritation about the horrible service I receive - other than using a Sniper Rifle] about this issue, and I want INPUT FROM REAL PEOPLE. If you are an illusion, don't send anything.
Here is a link to a Site that will teach you how to Complain Properly:
So, now that you know how to Complain Properly, please take notes about your Internet Problems, and send them to me - either as an Email, or as a Comment you can Post below this Post. Make certain to include the exclusive Details of your Problems with your Internet Service, and the Name of your Internet Service Provider (ISP). Also, let me know whether or not you consent to me using your Name [First Name Only], and the Name of your ISP. I want the ugliest [BUT TRUE] Horror Stories you have, so that I may include them in the upcoming Post.
Also, I am feeling a little better [Thanks for asking!], the H. pylori appears to be responding well to the Antibiotics that I am taking, and my normal state of Spiritual and Moral Illness should return shortly. Please remember to send those NUDE PHOTOS, MAKE A MONETARY DONATION, and Eat Well . . . than have a good B.M.
For the last few days, the Propellerheads at Blogger.com have been "doing maintenance" on the Blogger.com System. This meant that I could not vent my oddball "Urges" and "Inspirations" to this Blog. I use this Blog as method of expunging the Sickness from my Soul [I speak metaphorically, of course . . . I am Buddhist . . . we don't have the Concept of "Soul" in Buddhism . . . are you listening to me?] and passing it on to my Readers, where they will become sick instead of me.
In the meantime, it looks my problem with H. pylori has reemerged in my Stomach, causing me a WONDERFUL PAIN that was an Ulcer a number of years ago. [There is nothing more WONDERFUL than Pain . . . except maybe not having Pain . . . yeah, that's better]. Read about the Source of my Pain:
As humorous as I find this to be [Ha ha haha haha ha ha ha ha hahaha ha ha ha! Ow!], I have been unable to do much, as stress and fatigue make the symptoms much worse. I read the CDC information just so I can laugh at the misery this causes me [Yes, that IS foolish!], and because I have not slept properly since the worst of the symptoms have returned. [Sleeping is overrated . . . no it isn't . . . am I RAMBLING yet?]
Also, I must protest the continuing worsening of Internet Speeds and Services since the Major Internet Service Providers [ISPs] got the "Green Light" from the FCC [Federally Sanctioned But Corporately Controlled Motherfucking Federal Communications Fucking Commission - Who cares if my expansion doesn't match the abbreviation?] to differentially charge for rates of download on the Internet. [Greedy Bastards!!! - Sorry]. Have you noticed that your Internet Service has sucked lately? Don't blame the Chinese Government or Satan! Blame the FCC! Blame SCOTUS! The ISPs can now charge whatever the fuck they want based on how fast you want your Internet to be. Isn't that nice? [The ISPs DO control the Internet Completely. They are "Communication Nazis," and you SHOULD FEAR THEM! - There, that should make them warm up to me! . . . or not].
Here is something about Blogger.com that has nothing to do with the ISPs at all, but it seemed funny to me:
The Video is a brief, but mild Rant about how a Larger Media Outlet has allegedly [now I can't be sued . . . HA!] cheated a Blogger by using her work without compensating her. What does that have to do with Slower Internet Speeds or Stolen Art? Not a damn thing. But, since I am not 100% currently, I am Rambling as a way to try and let out the Pathologies that I need to share with the World! More unrelated nonsense:
What I am trying to convey here is that I have been ill, and that Blogger.com was "Out of Service." I wanted to POST more to this Blog, but being ill prevented it. In other words, I was unable Post my insane Rantings to Blogger. So, as I was unable to pass along the TRUE FILTH that I have in my Heart to those of you who read this Blog. [Repeat in your own words here]
I recognize that this Post MAY BE a bit sub par, but I promise that I will have a great Post very shortly. Don't forget to send those Nude Pictures [you can if you like . . . especially Cote de Pablo . . . I kind of like the way she looks . . . this is odd . . . unless it works]. And, feel free to Donate something via the Paypal Link to the right, if you have actually been enjoying the Blog, since this horrible Internet Service I use does not pay for itself. Always remember to check the Blog once an Hour for "NEW DEVELOPMENTS," and see you on May 23rd, after the Rapture! ciao for now
Since I was absolutely more busy Today than any Deity has ever been, I decided to Post this extremely odd Video featuring Les Claypool of Primus, and Cartoon Network's "Adult Swim" Shows:
If this Video does not convince you that the World is a Bizarre Place, then you are hopeless. Before you give up, however, take time to send Comments. On a totally unrelated note, I really loath "Reality Television Shows." Just thought I'd throw that in. Cheers!
In my various travels across this Plane of American Existence, I have found a couple of Subjects garner really interesting reactions when discussed:
Sex
Money
It's not so much that People actually avoid either subject; most People will readily talk about either subject with little prompting. In fact, when it comes to Money, you normally can't get People to shut the fuck up about it. One agonizingly long snippet about earnings, losses, or investments invariably follows another. [Much like my Posts] With Sex, however, it is somewhat different.
In the United States, unlike the rest of the World, which is MOSTLY more open and civilized about Sex [some of the Muslims Nations excepted--where apparently some Men feel that "Stoning A Woman To Death" is an appropriate way to control their own IMPURE YUCKY DISGUSTING UNCLEAN NASTY BEASTLY GROTESQUE FILTHY HORRID RAUNCHY GRUBBY VULGAR ICKY REPUGNANT SICKENING NAUSEATING FOUL UNHOLY HORNY SEXUAL URGES], most People seem to be more comfortable with Sexual Innuendo than in dealing directly with the issue of Sexuality.
In fact, Americans only seem to be comfortable talking about Sex in one of two ways:
As a Cartoonish Exaggeration of Reality:
"I fucked 16 Women tonight, and I was just warming up" [A Guy with a Gold Chain, a Used Corvette, and 6 Maxed-Out Credit Cards normally will say something like This]
"I'm actually a Virgin, if you don't count that one night that I got drunk and did the Church's Entire Men's Choir." [The Cute, but "Shy" Young Women from the Back of Church Blurts this out to her Girlfriends]
As something so Vague as to be less useful than a Broken Condom:
"My Wagon is always full!" [Usually some Overweight Romeo with Acne and Six Chins says This]
"He was the most comfortable car I've ever ridden in!" [What the fuck does this even mean Lady?]
In fact, our aversion to taking directly about Sex has led us to do some pretty odd things. We place Sex everywhere BUT Center Stage in our own lives.
We would rather sexualize our Children, our Games, our Vacations, our Products, our Wars, our Cars, and JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE, rather than just say to someone we are attracted to, "Would you like to fuck?"
But why? You are asking why? You NEED TO KNOW why? [Goddamit! I get it already!] Because we have been led to believe that Sex is EVIL! Here is an interesting Video [Made by someone with lots of Free Time] that illustrates this point very well:
Here's a more Serious Video about Sex, [In the Case MASTURBATION]:
And here is some good Advice on how to avoid getting Caught Up in "Sexual Sin":
And at the end of the day, what has all this Innuendo and Admonition about avoiding Sex accomplished? Here is a very interesting Essay written by someone in a Forum in a "Lunatic Fringe" type Website called Godlike Productions:
While the Post is made on a goofy Website normally Trolled by People waiting for Turnip-Headed "Grey" Aliens, and "Signs of the Apocalypse" in the morning Bowl of Cheerios [Sponsorship Please!], the Essay here does actually offer some valid THEORIES, though I will not run through them here. Suffice it to say that, if you are unwilling to fuck, you may end up dying in the Desert in some War, or Praying to a Statue of a Giant Rat-God, and wearing an Ugly Pink Turtleneck Jumpsuit.
My own Personal Ideas about Sexuality are quite simple and straightforward [my Mind cannot deal with Sexual Complexity - it gives me Itchy Balls]. They are as follows:
I Love Sex. I enjoy engaging in Sexual Activity of a Consensual Nature with Partners that are free of Disease, Violent Tendencies, or Interested Parties with Violent Tendencies.
I Really Really Really Really Really Love Sex. I Love Sex for all the Reasons listed in Idea #1, and because repeating how much I Love it may increase the chances of finding Partners who meet the Criteria Listed in #1, that are willing to engage in immediate Sex with Me.
Sex Is A Natural Instinct And/Or Urge. Aside from People who have interests in engaging in Sex with Children, Animals, Non-Consenting Partners, or Dangerous Devices, Sex is something that everyone should feel comfortable desiring. This does not mean that I disbelieve in the idea of Sexual Addiction [Do I have that?], or that I condone unprotected Sexual Contact that is Dangerous or otherwise adverse to one's Health. If you are hearing Voices from a Source that no one else sees or hears, don't seek Sex, seek Psychiatric Assistance.
Religious Dogma About Sex Is Really Hard To Accept. While I universally support the Freedom of Religion, and the Rights of People to hold as Sacred their own System of Beliefs, I really don't like having them applied to ME when I have not asked for them! [In other words, STEP THE FUCK BACK WITH THAT RELIGIOUS STUFF if you are condemning me for my Sexual Habits! Unless I happen to be Boning your Daughter, Wife, Sister, Best Friend, or whatever, leave me alone and don't preach your Beliefs to Me! It really fucks with my ability to fuck!].
If You Are A Sexually Repressed Woman, You Should Contact Me. The Key Word here is "Woman." For me, that is someone over the Age of 18, and available to "Discuss" your Sexual Repression "At Length." If you have Jealous, Well-Armed People in your Life, then I suggest that you contact Glenn Beck about this issue, and make certain to tell the Jealous Party that you are doing so.
Next Question: Where the Hell does Money fit in here? Well, quite frankly, it doesn't. I just mentioned the Word "Money" to attract Impotent Nit-Wits that might not otherwise read a Post totally about Sex and Sexuality. If you want to know about Money, watch CNBC, read Forbes, the Wall Street Journal, or I don't know . . . maybe Fuck Off. I value Sex a lot more than Money, so I have no idea why you bother getting up each Morning.
For the last Audio-Visual illustration, I present a Video of a Healthy Mind who understands what is Important in Life, and who could literally teach us all a thing or twelve about what is of Value:
Now, for those Women who have read my own Personal Ideas about Sexuality, please take note of Idea 5. It is important that, if you take nothing else away from this Post, that you remember that Idea as you move forward in Life [Yes, it is a cheap ploy to get Sexually Needy Women to contact Me!]. So, my last suggestion here is that you go out and HAVE SAFE AND CONSENSUAL SEX WITH SOMEONE THAT IS BOTH OVER 18 YEARS OF AGE AND FREE OF DISEASE AND DANGEROUS ASSOCIATIONS AND EXTRAS SKULLS. [That last part about "Extra Skulls" should probably not come up for most People]. TTFN!
I have been, foolishly, promising to Post an Essay about the supposed CORRUPTION in the Israeli Knesset. For the few People that actually care what I do with this Blog, it may be causing Convulsions and Diarrhea to note that no such Post has yet appeared. Well, aside from my apprehensions about alienating even MORE People than I already have, [some of them possibly working for Mossad, the Israeli Intelligence Service], I have actually been delayed in this Task by overflow from other Projects I am involved with. I [not so] humbly apologize for the delay to those of you who use my Posts as an excuse not to end your own Lives. [Goddamit! You may have already done it! Fuck!]
Well, for those of you who have endured, and waited long and hard [insert your own sexual context here], here is something of extreme Political Importance to ease your wait:
